Hebrews 11:1

"Now Faith is being sure of what we hoped for and certain of what we do not see.

I came acoss a blogger who has faced her earthly trials and my heart ached for her- She posted one of her titles as Accidentaly on Purpose- and her post nudged me in a Christ-like way. She said she didn't know if she were posting of just the good days and not the bad accidentally or on purpose- or a little of both.

It made me realize that if we dont post about the good the bad and the ugly then we can't glorify God in the manner we were created to. I have questioned lately what the purpose of my blog is and what I want it to be- and to be honest I still have no idea. I know in the beginning it was created as a record of memories to be shared- and then our trials shook the earth from underneath but somehow I decided not to share those trials on this blog- instead they were posted in a caring bridge.

However, I realize that through each trial we have to continue Counting Our Blessings because they do remain even in the midst of our tribulations.

My mind wonders and wavers and may reflect so in this post so bear/bare with me- it has been a week full of emotion and many things I wondered was What If- and one of those what if's were What If there is one person in blog la la land that needs to know God - or what if there is one person out there that we could encourage- or offer information on the type of cancer that effected our family?!?

Oral Squamous Cell Carcinoma of the Tongue/ Tongue Cancer

If you are like me you would say to yourself who has ever heard of such? But, I am here to tell you that there is an ugly illness out there that does exist. It was only 27 days into the new year of 2010 when my 33 year old husband was diagnosed with tongue cancer. He had originally bitten his tongue and in February of 2009 we went to see an oral surgeon after much concern of it not healing. The oral surgeon dismissed the idea that we needed a biopsy and concluded that the tongue had suffered trauma and it could take up to one year to heal. Note to reader- always have further testing to rule out your concern a biopsy should have been taken Note to self- never think that your husband is a hypochondriac.

One year passed- his tongue had healed some what but developed an ulcer which caused concern and became painful- we returned to the original oral surgeon who then said we needed a biopsy. We opted with a different oral surgeon who could schedule us in faster - and at his examination his opinion was that it was inflammotory tissue and slow healing but stated we were smart to do a biopsy. After a seven day wait- we were informed on January 27th 2010 that B-was diagnosed with Oral Squamous Cell Carcinoma of the Tongue.

We clung to the Word-

John 16:33 " I have told you these things so that in me you will have peace, in this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.

The past eight month have been a whirl wind to say the least- five days after diagnosis we took a leap of faith and a few flights to Rochester MN to visit the world renowned Mayo Clinic and to meet with the ENT doctors. The dentist or oral surgeon can biopsy- if diagnosed you will be refered to an ENT (Ear Nose Throat) Specialist as they specialize in head and neck. We met with the ENT surgeon at the Mayo Clinic on Tuesday 2/2 and were scheduled for surgery the very next morning. We were infomed the tumor in the tongue would be removed surgically and B. would have a right neck dissection to extract all of the lymph nodes on the right side of his neck.

Exodus 14:14 The Lord will fight for you, you need only to be still.

We were eight days into diagnosis of cancer and in the early morning of our 8th day we walked hand in hand in a white underground hallway to find our way to the hospital for surgery. Our surgery was scheduled for 8 am we had to be there early for pre-op and it wasn't until 3:20pm that they wheeled Bert into his hospital room where he stayed to recover for two days. He excelled at recovery - his speech was impaired for a few days, he lost feeling in the right side of his face from the nerves they crossed, but all in all he recovered like a champ!! The pathology report came back which revealed the disease had spread to two lymph nodes- but was not extracapsular meaning it did not come out of the lymph nodes. The tumor in his tongue had perineural nerve invasion- and based on that and the two lymph nodes we were refered to a Radiation Oncologist.

Ephesians 6:10 Finally, be strong in the Lord and of the power of His might!

We returned home ten days later to recover and to find local oncologists for treatment. In March, treatment began: 3 rounds of chemotherapy (cisplatin) and 30 days of radiation.

Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans to prosper you not to harm you plans to give you hope and a future.

April 26th ended our last treatment and on April 30th Bert Rang the Bell- if ever you hold the hand of a loved one, are the loved one, or work in the oncology atmosphere you know that ringing the bell is where you actually stand, and ring a bell for all to hear that you are finished with treatment- it is a sound of hope, a sound of accomplishment and a sound of joy. Note to reader: nurses, techs, and staff of oncology you can make a world of difference in your attitude towards your patients- we were blessed with the best staff so know that you are important in the process

Lamentations 3: 22-25 22 Through the LORD’s mercies we are not consumed, Because His compassions fail not. 23 They are new every morning; Great is Your faithfulness. "The LORD is my portion,” says my soul,“ Therefore I hope in Him!” The LORD is good to those who wait for Him, To the soul who seeks Him.

We had May June and July to recover and I have to say we did come to enjoy ourselves. Summer was a blessing in itself- we could breath, no doctors appointments, no weeks full of hectic schedules, no homework, no fuss just rest and relax- we beached it as much as we could, celebrated our 10 year wedding anniversary- and watched our darling daughter graduate kindergarten. Our marriage was strengthened tremendously, friendships were rekindled, our prayer life changed for the better, we learned how to receive and we learned how to give, we grew closer to God, we loved Carley even more for every minute we were able to spend with her, we loved each other more and overlooked the small stuff that would normally cause arguments- we learned to appreciated the small things and the beauty of Gods creation- we learned to pray for and with strangers- we learned to be patient.

Romans 12:12 Be patient in affliction, joyful in hope and faithful in prayer.

August came and we glared at the days on the calendar summer would be over, 1st grade would begin and our hearts became heavy as we counted down the days for Bert's 3 month pet scan. On Monday we entered the same facility that administered radiation and chemo which was hard in itself to do- the memories come flooding back, you question if you did all that you were suppose to do, you become weak (but know He is strong), the smells of the building are unforgettable, the faces stare in concern, your mind wants to know the story behind the hundreds there for treatment, you feel sorry for them- you feel sorry for yourself, you trust God- you pray again and again.. and then you wait two days for the results.

Isaiah 40:31 Those who wait on the Lord shall renew their strength ..mount up with wings like eagles..

Tuesday came and went and when night fell the heavier our hearts became. You try to think of every possible circumstance and plan it through but the Bible says that you can not worry about tomorrow... therefore you wait. That night felt as thought a thief came in to steal our joy, our hope, and our faith- we tossed and turned and as much as we wanted to be anxious about the first day of school we shoved the thought aside only to be overwhelmed with the outcome. We managed to give great face at the school drop off, held back the tears, and darted out the door (pictures to come on our new 1st grader!!)

We patiently (dreadfully) waited for our 1:15 appointment. This is it we discussed- report card time for all that we have been through the aggressive treatments were harsh but a means to be proactive.

The scans came back negative which were great results. Bert continues to remain in remission by the grace of God. Ever feel that God is painting His masterpiece and you feel like you are a part of His mindful plan? I do. This is God's story one He wants to be praised and glorified for- and so we continue to count our blessings..

2 Corinthians 3-7 Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ,the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows. If we are distressed, it is for your comfort and salvation; if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which produces in you patient endurance of the same sufferings we suffer. Our hope for you is firm because we know that just as you share in our sufferings, so also you share in our comfort.